NAT KANG COLE

last year... mintues before it turned 12 on my birthday i was walking alone in a carpark in perth.
i made my wish upon a star..
i didnt mind that there was no cake.. i was on holiday with my friend and her mom..
it was enough...
i couldnt get any birthday wishes cause my phone didnt have any auto roaming..
it felt quite lonely..
but nevertheless... it was by circumstances ... or so i thought...

this year... mintues before it turned 12 on my birthday i went to sleep.
i had a cake courtesy of my family..
but my best friends forgot all about it.
it felt like crap
they know what kind of a person i am
no esmirada or dinner at the equinox ( tt somepeople evidently didnt appreciate)
dinner at newton circus would be fine..
in fact.. just a call to wish me happy birthday would have made my day.

thats when i realised that i would never find happiness in others...
all along... repeated patterns .. signs.. etc..
i feel like a fool...
therefore... from now onwards.. im going to make it a point to seek happiness from within...

do i feel affected? well certainly i supposed.. but not as much as i thought i would be.

especially you. i have had such a hard time maintaining a friendship with u that it was time for a revaluation..
and u know what .. it has been validated...
all along to accomodate u.i have been saying that everything is my fault etc
i even told someone that this relationship would get better if i got more accomodating..
but if u were to look back and weigh who has been putting in more into this frienship.
u will realise what a 'self absorbed individual'(so i quote) u are
i have had enough of it..

things will never ever revert to the way things were
i feel like a fool for believing so much and investing so much into our friendship.

u may seem like the one constantly victimised by me...
but really..

those who are not involved better not make passing judgements...
dont let me start dissing....

thanks for making me feel hurt on my birthday.
thanks for letting me know how underappreciated i am
thanks for letting me know that i was a fool to go the extra miles