Thursday, February 09, 2006
everyone is like freaking out...dreading the 17th of feburary... schools are speculating that that is D day... but i heard that it was written in the papers that moe sees no need for the a level results to come out so quickly since university doesnt start till july.. well well.. what made them change their minds i wonder? after releasing the results in mid feb like for past donkey years , they suddenly decided that there is no rush. not that im complaining.. the later the results... the longer vacation i take in the republic of denial.. abd boy am i having a great time here...
i couldnt help but think that there is a greater motive behind this decision... i feel that because they had set such FORBIDDENLY DIFFICULT PAPERS... the ENTIRE jc cohort SCREWED UP so badly that they had to put in more time and effort into moderation. SERVES THEM RIGHT YOU JIA PA ENG ASSES.. dont u think so people? i mean that is the only thing i can think of...
but then again its rumoured that D-DAY comes feb 17th ... and if it is then maybe the whole jc cohort didnt screw up too badly which also means ... im screwed...
surprisingly im not that edgy abt the results now.. nothing i do can change the outcome.. but thats just me now.. i wouldnt be too sure abt then.. perhaps the paranoid worry warrior nat will come out then again... but after so many bad dreams abt the a levels i had a good dream last night that left me more at ease.. or perhaps its just the satisfaction of knowing that my conscience is clear because i tried my best and i did what was required of me... ok perhaps not that applicable for math.. but hey.. those stressful days that made me a wreck is at least giving me a certain sense of calm now... but then again sometimes trying hard or doing your best just isnt enough.. take my o level resuls and psle results as an example... i tried so hard worked so hard pushed so hard pressed so hard only to see the results slander and rape the hardwork i had so put in. now that was torture.. the feeling was just absolutely cruel.. it was a blow... and i really wouldnt want it to happen to me this time round.. this time not only do i feel i deserve it .. i need it.. no more blows.. no more traumas.. no more im-stupid .. i cant do it.. damn writing this now will just make me feeel worse if i dont make it then man...
im gonna miss lit.. even though it tortured to the core of my being.. i will still miss it.. it has endowed me with the power of analysis which i find extremely useful and applicable in life... and i think it has helped me in more ways than one...
not only will i miss lit.. but i will miss my class.. and my teachers who taught us that life isnt all about the rat race we so blindly allow ourselves to be consumed by... who taught me to deal with things and gave me the strength to be at peace with myself.. that traquility isnt self indulgent and that sometimes we need to slow down to move on and that the taste of life shouldnt be all about a certain spice... we need to slow down to enjoy and appreciate the other subtle tastes within the dish of life that makes it what it truly is...
with that... i know ill survive.. no matter the outcome.. because ultimately im a survivor and i thirst for survival.. no matter how long the journey takes or how arduos it might be .. im ready to take it on. with my youth my patience and my determination.. im gonna make that climb some how.. im gonna reach the top of the stairs to stare into the bright sunny day...cause deep within i know thats what im made of... dealing would be the most difficult part of it all..but i will make it one day.
ill never say die.. but ill whine , feel sad, feel like a failure at times.. but through it all i will make it.. and if i ever forget that.. this will remind me who i really am.. a fighter.
good day to y'all
i couldnt help but think that there is a greater motive behind this decision... i feel that because they had set such FORBIDDENLY DIFFICULT PAPERS... the ENTIRE jc cohort SCREWED UP so badly that they had to put in more time and effort into moderation. SERVES THEM RIGHT YOU JIA PA ENG ASSES.. dont u think so people? i mean that is the only thing i can think of...
but then again its rumoured that D-DAY comes feb 17th ... and if it is then maybe the whole jc cohort didnt screw up too badly which also means ... im screwed...
surprisingly im not that edgy abt the results now.. nothing i do can change the outcome.. but thats just me now.. i wouldnt be too sure abt then.. perhaps the paranoid worry warrior nat will come out then again... but after so many bad dreams abt the a levels i had a good dream last night that left me more at ease.. or perhaps its just the satisfaction of knowing that my conscience is clear because i tried my best and i did what was required of me... ok perhaps not that applicable for math.. but hey.. those stressful days that made me a wreck is at least giving me a certain sense of calm now... but then again sometimes trying hard or doing your best just isnt enough.. take my o level resuls and psle results as an example... i tried so hard worked so hard pushed so hard pressed so hard only to see the results slander and rape the hardwork i had so put in. now that was torture.. the feeling was just absolutely cruel.. it was a blow... and i really wouldnt want it to happen to me this time round.. this time not only do i feel i deserve it .. i need it.. no more blows.. no more traumas.. no more im-stupid .. i cant do it.. damn writing this now will just make me feeel worse if i dont make it then man...
im gonna miss lit.. even though it tortured to the core of my being.. i will still miss it.. it has endowed me with the power of analysis which i find extremely useful and applicable in life... and i think it has helped me in more ways than one...
not only will i miss lit.. but i will miss my class.. and my teachers who taught us that life isnt all about the rat race we so blindly allow ourselves to be consumed by... who taught me to deal with things and gave me the strength to be at peace with myself.. that traquility isnt self indulgent and that sometimes we need to slow down to move on and that the taste of life shouldnt be all about a certain spice... we need to slow down to enjoy and appreciate the other subtle tastes within the dish of life that makes it what it truly is...
with that... i know ill survive.. no matter the outcome.. because ultimately im a survivor and i thirst for survival.. no matter how long the journey takes or how arduos it might be .. im ready to take it on. with my youth my patience and my determination.. im gonna make that climb some how.. im gonna reach the top of the stairs to stare into the bright sunny day...cause deep within i know thats what im made of... dealing would be the most difficult part of it all..but i will make it one day.
ill never say die.. but ill whine , feel sad, feel like a failure at times.. but through it all i will make it.. and if i ever forget that.. this will remind me who i really am.. a fighter.
good day to y'all
# posted by - : 9:57 PM
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]