Saturday, March 04, 2006
im still hurtin . but its getting better .
somehow i just cant help it. but its gonna stop right now.
been reading blogs, and i must say that im glad my parents dont put too much expectations on me. as i have been saying.. my worst enemy comes from within.. and i am my own pressure cooker. oh well, as i was saying i was reading some blogs and it seems like some parents are a little harsh on their children.. my parents arent.
this entry is for me to focus on the positive.
#1
ME:"mommy, i got bbd. im not happy!
why cant they just give me that fucking A? I Studied so damn hard for Econs.. u saw how i studied.. Why cant they just give me that fucking A to validate my life?
forever like that one.. why always like that one? why is it that the effort i put in can never acheive the results i want? im just asking for one fucking A"
MOM: :" Can get into university can already la.. im very happy! " then later on in another conversation she said " im proud of the results you got.. u did it without tuition and u were a 19 pointer u know..u just dont have exam luck.. but it will slowly function as u get older."
in another convo..
i told my mom that if i had my sister's intelligence and luck.. or she were as willing to put in effort as me.. she would have a daughter in Harvard or Oxford.. my sister is a pig.. she just doesnt know how to put her intelligence to good use man.. DARN.
#2
dad: so how? bbd can get into uni! very good! where u wanna go and celebrate? tonight go where makan?
me: its not good enough. im not happy i have no mood to celebrate.
dad: why not good? very good already!
me: im not u.. u say good cause u always get "first from the last" i got my mother's genes...
dad: ** burst out in laughter..if u had ur mother's genes you would fail your a levels already.. your mother highest education only psle ok.. somemore take twice arh! ** hokkien vulgarities** u stupid la u want ur mother's genes... **laughs like a mad man
ok from the above two conversations u can tell that im a bratty daughter.. and yes im allowed to use the word fuck under extreme states of anger and angst and they allow it.. after all my dad has a degree in hokkien vulgarities.
another thing that im thankful for is perhaps my parents resillence in life. and i hope that after all the bad genes they've passed on ( haha) ive actually managed to rub off some of the good.
my dad fell down yesterday and he cant walk at all.. he is limping now like nobody's business.. he fell on his kneecap and he is mind you.. 58 years old..
me: aiyo can u please go see a doctor? u are like an old man leh.. nearly 60 years old already...
him: shhh.. not so loud.. ** notices a stranger and talks louder** what fall down? where got fall down? i go disco dancing with my girlfriend yesterday lah! u think what? ur father so lousy arh fall down. **takes another painful step and goes.. AIYO! ** hokkien vulgarities..**then softly.. aiya what to do?nvm la...
my dad lost a huge sum in the 97 asian financial crisis. he initially retired at the age of 42.. but was forced back into work 10 years later. and he started off by selling otah and such... now he does his own business in clocks again but... it wasnt easy and he has been working his ass off .. and he is still in debt.
well as for my mom.. there is too many things to say abt her.. but .. the most impt thing is that she's one fiesty stubborn woman man.. she's the one who never ever admits defeat against what life has in store for her. and trust me it has been one hella of a boat ride. with sharks hurricanes pirates etc. R E s P e C t man.
as nafis and mdm shaffa says .. everything supercedes another. your o 'level results now mean nothing when you've gotten your a 'level results. the most important thing is to get into a uni and do the best u can.. graduate with honours ... blah blah blah..
im gonna give uni my 110% i dont believe im not going to make it one day.
somehow i just cant help it. but its gonna stop right now.
been reading blogs, and i must say that im glad my parents dont put too much expectations on me. as i have been saying.. my worst enemy comes from within.. and i am my own pressure cooker. oh well, as i was saying i was reading some blogs and it seems like some parents are a little harsh on their children.. my parents arent.
this entry is for me to focus on the positive.
#1
ME:"mommy, i got bbd. im not happy!
why cant they just give me that fucking A? I Studied so damn hard for Econs.. u saw how i studied.. Why cant they just give me that fucking A to validate my life?
forever like that one.. why always like that one? why is it that the effort i put in can never acheive the results i want? im just asking for one fucking A"
MOM: :" Can get into university can already la.. im very happy! " then later on in another conversation she said " im proud of the results you got.. u did it without tuition and u were a 19 pointer u know..u just dont have exam luck.. but it will slowly function as u get older."
in another convo..
i told my mom that if i had my sister's intelligence and luck.. or she were as willing to put in effort as me.. she would have a daughter in Harvard or Oxford.. my sister is a pig.. she just doesnt know how to put her intelligence to good use man.. DARN.
#2
dad: so how? bbd can get into uni! very good! where u wanna go and celebrate? tonight go where makan?
me: its not good enough. im not happy i have no mood to celebrate.
dad: why not good? very good already!
me: im not u.. u say good cause u always get "first from the last" i got my mother's genes...
dad: ** burst out in laughter..if u had ur mother's genes you would fail your a levels already.. your mother highest education only psle ok.. somemore take twice arh! ** hokkien vulgarities** u stupid la u want ur mother's genes... **laughs like a mad man
ok from the above two conversations u can tell that im a bratty daughter.. and yes im allowed to use the word fuck under extreme states of anger and angst and they allow it.. after all my dad has a degree in hokkien vulgarities.
another thing that im thankful for is perhaps my parents resillence in life. and i hope that after all the bad genes they've passed on ( haha) ive actually managed to rub off some of the good.
my dad fell down yesterday and he cant walk at all.. he is limping now like nobody's business.. he fell on his kneecap and he is mind you.. 58 years old..
me: aiyo can u please go see a doctor? u are like an old man leh.. nearly 60 years old already...
him: shhh.. not so loud.. ** notices a stranger and talks louder** what fall down? where got fall down? i go disco dancing with my girlfriend yesterday lah! u think what? ur father so lousy arh fall down. **takes another painful step and goes.. AIYO! ** hokkien vulgarities..**then softly.. aiya what to do?nvm la...
my dad lost a huge sum in the 97 asian financial crisis. he initially retired at the age of 42.. but was forced back into work 10 years later. and he started off by selling otah and such... now he does his own business in clocks again but... it wasnt easy and he has been working his ass off .. and he is still in debt.
well as for my mom.. there is too many things to say abt her.. but .. the most impt thing is that she's one fiesty stubborn woman man.. she's the one who never ever admits defeat against what life has in store for her. and trust me it has been one hella of a boat ride. with sharks hurricanes pirates etc. R E s P e C t man.
as nafis and mdm shaffa says .. everything supercedes another. your o 'level results now mean nothing when you've gotten your a 'level results. the most important thing is to get into a uni and do the best u can.. graduate with honours ... blah blah blah..
im gonna give uni my 110% i dont believe im not going to make it one day.
# posted by - : 9:39 AM
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