Tuesday, April 25, 2006
ok so anyway i tried blogging the last two times abt the same thing but the post just refuses to come out..
maybe its fate that some things are left better unsaid lest they come true.
so well.. im going europe later today and i havent packed.. am not quite excited at all...
yesterday i had a rather disturbing conversation with 2 of my friends...
here is basically what it was about...
1. unlike youths my age i look old ,dull, tired and constantly frazzled.
2. they have noticed that i have become like that during and after my jc years.
3. i had expected myself to recuperate after the a levels.. but somehow its not working cause i aint getting enough rest.
4. in my j c years two of my closest friends feel like i have been living in my own world...
5. therefore in those 2 years i have missed out alot of stuff.. which also meant that i gave up 2 years of my prime.
6. and the worse part is that because i didnt know what i missed i dont feel like i;ve missed out anything and therefore am in denial.
7. ( this is specially for me to grouse about) although i had sacrificed two years of my youth and nearly had a nervous break down and physically deformed myself... i got nothing out of it... in fact.. none of the unis have even sent me a letter of acceptance yet.. and im BITTER... but as they saide SUMO ... shut up and move on.. thats exactly what im gonna do.
8. " its all about self presentation" " therre are no ugly women in this world.. only lazy ones" which also means that i have to start getting more image conscious... and yes more vain...
9. according to elaine low my face does not give off an intimidating vibe at all.. in fact according to her my face says " please come and bully me .. im nice and i will not scold u" of which although i partially agree to it .. i feel like im more of a " ill take ur shit to a certain extent afterwhich ill give u hell ."
10. oh ya and jc has made me crankier and more demanding in my expectations of many things.
---------------------
well i went home and thought about it...and realised that i dont even put toner or moisturiser... my hair is in a constant mess... i havent seen the doctor in ages cause i think its a chore and cant find the time...and yes its impossible to even get a good night rest in this asylum.
let me recap what happens when u try to sleep in this house.
1. ur sister does her skin care regime when u're just abt to fall asleep ( everynight) in the wee hours in the morning and demand s the light to be all.. and she doesnt give two hoots if ure trying to sleep because she asks questions and demands answers which results in me screaming and hostile answers.
2. u wake up the earliest everymorning to go to work....
3. and ur sister snoring or stupid sounds she makes at night wakes u up.....
4. her toilet trips are a greater terror because they're so loud.. ( thank god this doesnt happen everynight)
5.she loves to adjust the aircon so much that sometimes u wake up because the temperature is too uncomfortably hot and u keep fidgeting in bed and therefore cant get a good night rest...
even if i were allowed to sleep in
1. my sister still has to go to work which means the hair dryer will be at use.
2. my stupid father will call and ask stupid questions even though he knows ur sleeping.
3. my curtains dont block out the bloody light...
4. even if the phone rings and my ringer is off i still wake up cause everyone else in my house are dead logs who dont respond to the telephone when they're sleeping... ( which is why i unhook the phone when im alone at home )
5.my mom turns on the tv in the morning so loudly thta it wakes me up in my room...
6. just thinking abt all these shit in the morning when they happen aggitates u so much u cant go back to sleep anymore...
which is why i havent been getting enough rest which is really annoying and makes my blood boil.. im just asking form 7 solid hours of sleep.
````````````
which is why this morning i screamed at my dad for being inconsiderate. and complained to my mom abt all of the above...
--------
which is why i better be drawing a relatively good pay next time because im gonna sound proof my room have my own room and have heavy duty curtains....
better still own my own studio apartment so nobody can disturb me... and my phone will be unhooked when rest is needed...
--------------------
yes im a light sleeper and i think im going mad ... gimme back my youth ! im wasting thte bests years of my life away!
-------------------
If my husband's sleeping patterns compromises mine next time... we're sleeping in seperate rooms. i mean it.
---------------------
ANTI AGEING CAMPAIGN BEGINS NOW!
maybe its fate that some things are left better unsaid lest they come true.
so well.. im going europe later today and i havent packed.. am not quite excited at all...
yesterday i had a rather disturbing conversation with 2 of my friends...
here is basically what it was about...
1. unlike youths my age i look old ,dull, tired and constantly frazzled.
2. they have noticed that i have become like that during and after my jc years.
3. i had expected myself to recuperate after the a levels.. but somehow its not working cause i aint getting enough rest.
4. in my j c years two of my closest friends feel like i have been living in my own world...
5. therefore in those 2 years i have missed out alot of stuff.. which also meant that i gave up 2 years of my prime.
6. and the worse part is that because i didnt know what i missed i dont feel like i;ve missed out anything and therefore am in denial.
7. ( this is specially for me to grouse about) although i had sacrificed two years of my youth and nearly had a nervous break down and physically deformed myself... i got nothing out of it... in fact.. none of the unis have even sent me a letter of acceptance yet.. and im BITTER... but as they saide SUMO ... shut up and move on.. thats exactly what im gonna do.
8. " its all about self presentation" " therre are no ugly women in this world.. only lazy ones" which also means that i have to start getting more image conscious... and yes more vain...
9. according to elaine low my face does not give off an intimidating vibe at all.. in fact according to her my face says " please come and bully me .. im nice and i will not scold u" of which although i partially agree to it .. i feel like im more of a " ill take ur shit to a certain extent afterwhich ill give u hell ."
10. oh ya and jc has made me crankier and more demanding in my expectations of many things.
---------------------
well i went home and thought about it...and realised that i dont even put toner or moisturiser... my hair is in a constant mess... i havent seen the doctor in ages cause i think its a chore and cant find the time...and yes its impossible to even get a good night rest in this asylum.
let me recap what happens when u try to sleep in this house.
1. ur sister does her skin care regime when u're just abt to fall asleep ( everynight) in the wee hours in the morning and demand s the light to be all.. and she doesnt give two hoots if ure trying to sleep because she asks questions and demands answers which results in me screaming and hostile answers.
2. u wake up the earliest everymorning to go to work....
3. and ur sister snoring or stupid sounds she makes at night wakes u up.....
4. her toilet trips are a greater terror because they're so loud.. ( thank god this doesnt happen everynight)
5.she loves to adjust the aircon so much that sometimes u wake up because the temperature is too uncomfortably hot and u keep fidgeting in bed and therefore cant get a good night rest...
even if i were allowed to sleep in
1. my sister still has to go to work which means the hair dryer will be at use.
2. my stupid father will call and ask stupid questions even though he knows ur sleeping.
3. my curtains dont block out the bloody light...
4. even if the phone rings and my ringer is off i still wake up cause everyone else in my house are dead logs who dont respond to the telephone when they're sleeping... ( which is why i unhook the phone when im alone at home )
5.my mom turns on the tv in the morning so loudly thta it wakes me up in my room...
6. just thinking abt all these shit in the morning when they happen aggitates u so much u cant go back to sleep anymore...
which is why i havent been getting enough rest which is really annoying and makes my blood boil.. im just asking form 7 solid hours of sleep.
````````````
which is why this morning i screamed at my dad for being inconsiderate. and complained to my mom abt all of the above...
--------
which is why i better be drawing a relatively good pay next time because im gonna sound proof my room have my own room and have heavy duty curtains....
better still own my own studio apartment so nobody can disturb me... and my phone will be unhooked when rest is needed...
--------------------
yes im a light sleeper and i think im going mad ... gimme back my youth ! im wasting thte bests years of my life away!
-------------------
If my husband's sleeping patterns compromises mine next time... we're sleeping in seperate rooms. i mean it.
---------------------
ANTI AGEING CAMPAIGN BEGINS NOW!
# posted by - : 8:57 AM
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