Monday, June 26, 2006
ok this caught my attention when i was looking at some of the pics that we took on saturday night. IM DAMN FAIR. GROSS . compared to everyone else im like white! its damnnnn grossss... i think im so white that i might just be able to seem illuminated in the dark.
must figure out how to use the divi cam that i just bought.. havent even read the manual yet.. which is really really bad.
and my german lessons with myself has been abruptly stopped due to a lack of saliva in my mouth... i cant keep spitting and spitting ... It gets tiring :P
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saturday was quite alright la.. though the turn out wasnt as good as it was supposed to be... thanks to MINA , AMANDA, SEOK, FEE, EME, VAL, ALI, KEITH, GORDON, MR KOH for coming down... and thanks to LYNN who rushed down to pass us the stuff before going off to bedok...
things that were noted in the outing
1. Ali stays true to his name "Peacock". He seems to be partially anti social... It has always been a myth that hybrid scottish-chinese peacocks were the proudest of them all.. Well, guess this myth has been validated.
2. Next up we have we introduce to you the vainest of them all. She goes by the code name Mina. Her personal statement "Beauty over life" has become her trademark in the business. Her assasination style is sexy . Her main targets are men. Her weapons are cleverly incoporated into her physical appearance. She owns a pair of "killer heels" of which she has perfected the skill of throwing them. Her skill is unsurpassed by any. Her aiming is extremely accurate and she has never missed a target before. Once she knocked out 3 men who were 300 feet in front of her. Her other weapon " a valley and two mountains" causes males to nosebleed to death. They are also equipped with the ability to lure out the truth out of any men. Their working functions have been proven more effective than the lie detector test and chemical 101- the truth inducing drug.
3. In an updated report regarding Bimbo Ee who goes by the alias Amanda Ee. It is warned that one should never bring Amanda or rather Bimbo to BBQ or a Steamboat or anything that requires self culinary skills. It has been highly stressed that any cause of neglect to this warning can lead to fatalistic consequences. Several of our secret agents have been 1) shocked by her 2) embarrassed by her 3) forced into slavery by her.
- It has been reported that she is inflicted by some mental disease that causes adverse reactions when she comes near a hot pot. This explains her eccentric or inexplicable behavior when she comes close to a hot pot. She is terribly afraid of the heat and cooks her food 1 metre away hence making her look like an alien from outer space. She jumps at the slightest splatter or expectation of a soup splatter. This may prove hazardous because the induced shock in the person next to her might result in one choking on a fish ball and fatalistic death.
- It has also been suspected that she practices magic. It has been noted that she seems to have a magical chant that specializes in subduing others to become her personal slave. Although intelligent reports are unclear as to how the chant goes, it has been observed that some sounds involved in the chant include ; shrieking , whining and pouting . Private investigator XX equiped with a hearing device has deduced that some phrases used in the chant include the following:
" AAAHHHH!" " SHRIEK SHRIEK!" " OWWW!" " OH MY GOODNESS!" as well as " NAT SO SCARY!" . It also includes some indescript whining sounds.
- After which, the people around her will mysteriously start volunteering to cook and serve her food and give in to her every whim. Behold amanda the witch!
- Furthur intelligence has also suggested that the spell has to be complemented by a bewitching dance. Dance steps include jumping back and forth , making big and quick movement as well as exaggerated actions. The dance is supposedly quite simple. All you have to do is let your paranoia and soup splatter direct the dance.
4. " The Singapore Lian " who goes by the alias "Chong Seok Ying ". It is suspected that she is an android that is fueled by meat. On an outing with her Junior College class it was observed that she has wolfed down 3 plates of meat. We suspect she is a closet carnivoure who is dating her current beau; Gordon Tan Jeng in preparation of a future feast that is low in fat high in protein . It seems that the rising number of people getting hypertension and heart diseases together with the countless health campagins which has been held over the previous years has inspired her to eat healthily. We suspect that the Singapore Health promotion board stamp has been inked on Gordon's butt making him a ' Healthy Choice'. We also have ample evidence to draw onto the conlusion that her facial expressions holds magical abilities. It has been observed that every single facil contour , ie . a pout, a stare, a twich in her face has been able to command Gordon to abide her every wish. Either that or they just have telepathy but we feel the former is a more plausible explanation.
5. Suspect No. 5 : Gordon Tan Jeng. Real identity has yet to be discovered. He has a tendency to carry himself as a sex crazed maniac / babarian whose vocabulary primarily consist of : " Fuck!" and " Sex". However he is a master of disguised and an extremely talented actor. Beneath that facade lies a sweet and accomodating individual who attends to his GirlFriend's every whim. We also suspect that he has already attained the higest level of the " How to survive your Girlfriend" Kung fu. This makes the suspect even more so dangerous. It is believed that in the past 6-7 months, he has been participating in vigorous training and practice of sensitivity and accomodation and to date has attained the sheild of immunity from SM. ( sm = seok's magic. what were you thinking?) It seems like he has now mastered the skill of disturbing other girls without stiring up the wrath of his girlfriend. This makes the possibility of him self destructing less possible.
6. Next up is Felicia Ong Qian ying who goes by the alias of Fee. She is an extremely dangerous suspect because she has mastered the higest level in the art of concealment . Her skills are therefore still a mystery. Her adopted identiy has also somewhat cleverly disguised her as a goodie two shoe which makes it more difficult to break the shell and find out what really lies in the core of her existance. So far the only information that we have been able to get about her involves her potential to be a loan shark as well as her dwellings in the black market. Investigation has led us to believe that she sells pads at exorbitant prizes when she holds monopolistic power. ie. in times of emergency. Sources have stated that she owns tonnes of pads at home that has been categorized by its brand and whether is suited for heavy or light days. It has also been discovered that she has a fetish for Japanese porn.
7. Classified sources says that Keith AKA Donkey is 4 months pregnant. He is suspected to be suffering from severe withdrawal symptoms from anything glittery and sparkly. This has made him somewhat random in speech and thinking patterns. Pyschologist are thinking of making him the new cover boy for this year's edtion of the magazine " Evolution of the Pathologically Disturbed " we wish him all the best in his future endeavours.
8. Emeliana Azmi the hedonistic 'anti mina' assasin. It has been established that she has joined a cult group under the cover of Silk Air. Investigations has produced evidences for her fetish for shell fish. This leads us to believe that her particular liking for selfish is derivative of a secret cult survival class she has been attending. It is believed to help her cope if she lands on a deserted island with nothing but shellfish if she gets loss pursuing the new mina-matt target couple. However it has been brought to our attention that she has yet to fully qualify as an official cult assasin as she has failed to pass her kite spying equiment test as she failed to launch the spying device.
9. The femme fatale of the circle : Valerie Wee. Supposedly changed sides and has been reported to be the next bond girl. Armed with superb agent skills as well as legs to kill for. She has been designated as mankind's sole hope. Recenly it has been reported that she has aquired new motor skills that might just land her as the lead actress in the next block buster action movie. However she has yet to accept or decline to offer stating that she has to put saving the world as her first piority. It is rumoured that this wonder woman is not as impenetrable as she appears to be.Her archilles heel lies in her intolerance for spicy food. This is higly speculated and cannot be certified as of yet.
10. Mr koh aka lord eddie has not shown signs of recovery from his fetishes in taking posed pictures with provocative or controversial themes. He seems to have an arch enemy by the name of gordon tan jeng who he slapped and teased mercilessly only to be met with the violent protest and snares of gordon's lao po. ms cheong seok seok.
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This is a higly confidential report. Please access the information and destroy all evidences of its existance.
----------------------------------------------------
must figure out how to use the divi cam that i just bought.. havent even read the manual yet.. which is really really bad.
and my german lessons with myself has been abruptly stopped due to a lack of saliva in my mouth... i cant keep spitting and spitting ... It gets tiring :P
--------------------------
saturday was quite alright la.. though the turn out wasnt as good as it was supposed to be... thanks to MINA , AMANDA, SEOK, FEE, EME, VAL, ALI, KEITH, GORDON, MR KOH for coming down... and thanks to LYNN who rushed down to pass us the stuff before going off to bedok...
things that were noted in the outing
1. Ali stays true to his name "Peacock". He seems to be partially anti social... It has always been a myth that hybrid scottish-chinese peacocks were the proudest of them all.. Well, guess this myth has been validated.
2. Next up we have we introduce to you the vainest of them all. She goes by the code name Mina. Her personal statement "Beauty over life" has become her trademark in the business. Her assasination style is sexy . Her main targets are men. Her weapons are cleverly incoporated into her physical appearance. She owns a pair of "killer heels" of which she has perfected the skill of throwing them. Her skill is unsurpassed by any. Her aiming is extremely accurate and she has never missed a target before. Once she knocked out 3 men who were 300 feet in front of her. Her other weapon " a valley and two mountains" causes males to nosebleed to death. They are also equipped with the ability to lure out the truth out of any men. Their working functions have been proven more effective than the lie detector test and chemical 101- the truth inducing drug.
3. In an updated report regarding Bimbo Ee who goes by the alias Amanda Ee. It is warned that one should never bring Amanda or rather Bimbo to BBQ or a Steamboat or anything that requires self culinary skills. It has been highly stressed that any cause of neglect to this warning can lead to fatalistic consequences. Several of our secret agents have been 1) shocked by her 2) embarrassed by her 3) forced into slavery by her.
- It has been reported that she is inflicted by some mental disease that causes adverse reactions when she comes near a hot pot. This explains her eccentric or inexplicable behavior when she comes close to a hot pot. She is terribly afraid of the heat and cooks her food 1 metre away hence making her look like an alien from outer space. She jumps at the slightest splatter or expectation of a soup splatter. This may prove hazardous because the induced shock in the person next to her might result in one choking on a fish ball and fatalistic death.
- It has also been suspected that she practices magic. It has been noted that she seems to have a magical chant that specializes in subduing others to become her personal slave. Although intelligent reports are unclear as to how the chant goes, it has been observed that some sounds involved in the chant include ; shrieking , whining and pouting . Private investigator XX equiped with a hearing device has deduced that some phrases used in the chant include the following:
" AAAHHHH!" " SHRIEK SHRIEK!" " OWWW!" " OH MY GOODNESS!" as well as " NAT SO SCARY!" . It also includes some indescript whining sounds.
- After which, the people around her will mysteriously start volunteering to cook and serve her food and give in to her every whim. Behold amanda the witch!
- Furthur intelligence has also suggested that the spell has to be complemented by a bewitching dance. Dance steps include jumping back and forth , making big and quick movement as well as exaggerated actions. The dance is supposedly quite simple. All you have to do is let your paranoia and soup splatter direct the dance.
4. " The Singapore Lian " who goes by the alias "Chong Seok Ying ". It is suspected that she is an android that is fueled by meat. On an outing with her Junior College class it was observed that she has wolfed down 3 plates of meat. We suspect she is a closet carnivoure who is dating her current beau; Gordon Tan Jeng in preparation of a future feast that is low in fat high in protein . It seems that the rising number of people getting hypertension and heart diseases together with the countless health campagins which has been held over the previous years has inspired her to eat healthily. We suspect that the Singapore Health promotion board stamp has been inked on Gordon's butt making him a ' Healthy Choice'. We also have ample evidence to draw onto the conlusion that her facial expressions holds magical abilities. It has been observed that every single facil contour , ie . a pout, a stare, a twich in her face has been able to command Gordon to abide her every wish. Either that or they just have telepathy but we feel the former is a more plausible explanation.
5. Suspect No. 5 : Gordon Tan Jeng. Real identity has yet to be discovered. He has a tendency to carry himself as a sex crazed maniac / babarian whose vocabulary primarily consist of : " Fuck!" and " Sex". However he is a master of disguised and an extremely talented actor. Beneath that facade lies a sweet and accomodating individual who attends to his GirlFriend's every whim. We also suspect that he has already attained the higest level of the " How to survive your Girlfriend" Kung fu. This makes the suspect even more so dangerous. It is believed that in the past 6-7 months, he has been participating in vigorous training and practice of sensitivity and accomodation and to date has attained the sheild of immunity from SM. ( sm = seok's magic. what were you thinking?) It seems like he has now mastered the skill of disturbing other girls without stiring up the wrath of his girlfriend. This makes the possibility of him self destructing less possible.
6. Next up is Felicia Ong Qian ying who goes by the alias of Fee. She is an extremely dangerous suspect because she has mastered the higest level in the art of concealment . Her skills are therefore still a mystery. Her adopted identiy has also somewhat cleverly disguised her as a goodie two shoe which makes it more difficult to break the shell and find out what really lies in the core of her existance. So far the only information that we have been able to get about her involves her potential to be a loan shark as well as her dwellings in the black market. Investigation has led us to believe that she sells pads at exorbitant prizes when she holds monopolistic power. ie. in times of emergency. Sources have stated that she owns tonnes of pads at home that has been categorized by its brand and whether is suited for heavy or light days. It has also been discovered that she has a fetish for Japanese porn.
7. Classified sources says that Keith AKA Donkey is 4 months pregnant. He is suspected to be suffering from severe withdrawal symptoms from anything glittery and sparkly. This has made him somewhat random in speech and thinking patterns. Pyschologist are thinking of making him the new cover boy for this year's edtion of the magazine " Evolution of the Pathologically Disturbed " we wish him all the best in his future endeavours.
8. Emeliana Azmi the hedonistic 'anti mina' assasin. It has been established that she has joined a cult group under the cover of Silk Air. Investigations has produced evidences for her fetish for shell fish. This leads us to believe that her particular liking for selfish is derivative of a secret cult survival class she has been attending. It is believed to help her cope if she lands on a deserted island with nothing but shellfish if she gets loss pursuing the new mina-matt target couple. However it has been brought to our attention that she has yet to fully qualify as an official cult assasin as she has failed to pass her kite spying equiment test as she failed to launch the spying device.
9. The femme fatale of the circle : Valerie Wee. Supposedly changed sides and has been reported to be the next bond girl. Armed with superb agent skills as well as legs to kill for. She has been designated as mankind's sole hope. Recenly it has been reported that she has aquired new motor skills that might just land her as the lead actress in the next block buster action movie. However she has yet to accept or decline to offer stating that she has to put saving the world as her first piority. It is rumoured that this wonder woman is not as impenetrable as she appears to be.Her archilles heel lies in her intolerance for spicy food. This is higly speculated and cannot be certified as of yet.
10. Mr koh aka lord eddie has not shown signs of recovery from his fetishes in taking posed pictures with provocative or controversial themes. He seems to have an arch enemy by the name of gordon tan jeng who he slapped and teased mercilessly only to be met with the violent protest and snares of gordon's lao po. ms cheong seok seok.
---------------------------------------------------
This is a higly confidential report. Please access the information and destroy all evidences of its existance.
----------------------------------------------------
# posted by - : 9:32 AM
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