Wednesday, July 12, 2006
its amazing how time flies... ( hmm.. isnt this from seok's blog?) oh well seok i share the exact same sentiments as you. Its now july. I shamelessly admit that i havent touched anything intellectual since the 25th of novemeber... the last day of the A levels.. it was a lit paper.. i think it was paper 5 if im not wrong...
I remember this time last year.. i was in a dishevelled state. I was anxious, worried and stressed out. I stayed up late everynight. Work that couldnt be finished would be continued the next morning at 4 am. Till this date, i have no idea what kind of force was driving me. Where did my motivation come from? And now i wonder where that drive has disappeared to. This accrues to the fact that i cant survive without at least 7 hrs of sleep a day now and mind you my days are filled bumming around. Today i was going through some of my jc stuff. Gothic econs blah blah.. and when i touched my notes.. i still recalled where i penned down those notes.. in the my living room ( the werewolf) investment essay ( study room near dawn) and it felt familiar. But with it came sadness and pity knowing that i will never be able to relive that same kind of familiarity again. I cant believe two years of jc has gone by.. i cant believe it has been more than a year since i was last ( technically ) slimmer. Today i walked through the canal and passed the school and i recalled the many runs that we had there.. the 22 min miracle run that i did there and somehow it felt so strange.
it was as though i was not permitted to bask in that familiarity anymore. It has excluded me but i have not given up on it. It all seemed so surreal . I just cant come to terms with how time flies.
Today i went to video ezy in hopes of renting a show. There were many dvds there but none that i wanted. I just wanted to go home and watch an old movie. A movie that i was familiar with and then i realised that it has since been long time since i rented and dvds from there. There have been countless times where my journey to video ezy had been a fruitless one. Then it struck me . I am too dependent on the things i am familiar with.
But now it has come to this period of transit. Where i have been spat out by what i consider familiar but at a time where i am reluctant to move on. Struggling to cling on to the past i have yet to explore the future to embrace the unfamiliar to explore new possibilities. Neither here nor there i feel like i have been forsaken but yet at the same time the execution was not perfect. Though the axe had severed my head from my body a strip skin still holds them together. Delicately but definite.
i cant believe im growing up so fast. I wish i just could make growing up a little slower. I must learn to move on.
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on a brighter note my german lessons and gymming sessions have been progressing relatively well. Im glad that the efforts that im putting into self improvement have yet to be abandoned. Gymming with seok is always a delight.. sweating it out has been a thrill... results arent as well as expected.. but i dont care..i just enjoy it.
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you know today, i was contemplating on living 3 days of my life on a die. The dice shall decide what i shall do whether i should do this or do thatMaybe then i can break away from familiarity. But the more i considered it the more i realised my reluctance. But maybe just for the sake and fun of it i shall try it. first, i have to buy a die.
maybe throgh it all i shall gather new ingsights and find new aspects of my self that i have never known before.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Missing school but not wanting to start uni. Im feeling cranky.
where do i begin? when does it end?
I remember this time last year.. i was in a dishevelled state. I was anxious, worried and stressed out. I stayed up late everynight. Work that couldnt be finished would be continued the next morning at 4 am. Till this date, i have no idea what kind of force was driving me. Where did my motivation come from? And now i wonder where that drive has disappeared to. This accrues to the fact that i cant survive without at least 7 hrs of sleep a day now and mind you my days are filled bumming around. Today i was going through some of my jc stuff. Gothic econs blah blah.. and when i touched my notes.. i still recalled where i penned down those notes.. in the my living room ( the werewolf) investment essay ( study room near dawn) and it felt familiar. But with it came sadness and pity knowing that i will never be able to relive that same kind of familiarity again. I cant believe two years of jc has gone by.. i cant believe it has been more than a year since i was last ( technically ) slimmer. Today i walked through the canal and passed the school and i recalled the many runs that we had there.. the 22 min miracle run that i did there and somehow it felt so strange.
it was as though i was not permitted to bask in that familiarity anymore. It has excluded me but i have not given up on it. It all seemed so surreal . I just cant come to terms with how time flies.
Today i went to video ezy in hopes of renting a show. There were many dvds there but none that i wanted. I just wanted to go home and watch an old movie. A movie that i was familiar with and then i realised that it has since been long time since i rented and dvds from there. There have been countless times where my journey to video ezy had been a fruitless one. Then it struck me . I am too dependent on the things i am familiar with.
But now it has come to this period of transit. Where i have been spat out by what i consider familiar but at a time where i am reluctant to move on. Struggling to cling on to the past i have yet to explore the future to embrace the unfamiliar to explore new possibilities. Neither here nor there i feel like i have been forsaken but yet at the same time the execution was not perfect. Though the axe had severed my head from my body a strip skin still holds them together. Delicately but definite.
i cant believe im growing up so fast. I wish i just could make growing up a little slower. I must learn to move on.
--------------------------------------------------------------
on a brighter note my german lessons and gymming sessions have been progressing relatively well. Im glad that the efforts that im putting into self improvement have yet to be abandoned. Gymming with seok is always a delight.. sweating it out has been a thrill... results arent as well as expected.. but i dont care..i just enjoy it.
-------------------------------------------------------------
you know today, i was contemplating on living 3 days of my life on a die. The dice shall decide what i shall do whether i should do this or do thatMaybe then i can break away from familiarity. But the more i considered it the more i realised my reluctance. But maybe just for the sake and fun of it i shall try it. first, i have to buy a die.
maybe throgh it all i shall gather new ingsights and find new aspects of my self that i have never known before.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Missing school but not wanting to start uni. Im feeling cranky.
where do i begin? when does it end?
# posted by - : 7:00 PM
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