NAT KANG COLE

when i was a young girl living in farrer court.. i remember an old man who lived under a bridge in the big canal next to the market. every evening when i went out to play i would go to the green fence and stare at him. His home was simple.. it had an arm rest, some matteress and a whole lot of clutter. Every evening i would stare at him in bewilderment.. i had thought he was a monster.. and every evening he would smile and wave at me.. but i would run away because discriminated against him. its funny how a young girl actually has the ability to discriminate.. days and months went by and i grew up.. i didnt visit the old man anymore.. soon he got taken away by a welfare home i think.. and that little shelter under the bridge in the canal ceased to exist.. everytime i walked passed there.. i would feel as if there was a void...

and one thing still stays in my mind now... i wished i had smiled and waved back to him... itd would have probably made his day.. but i didnt. and now when i recall the old man i wonder where he is now.. he has probably left the world.. and still etched deeply in me is a memory of him and his clutter, his kindly smile and friendly wave.. as well as a deep sense of regret and guilt ....

if i had another chance.. i would have waved and smiled back and him...

its amazing after more than 12 years i would still remember him and develop this undeniable sense of guilt that i have grown to understand with the passing of years.

if only....