Saturday, June 23, 2007
Man Vs Woman By: Mita Kapur
Why can't Venus be like Mars? Why can't the Moon, shine like the Sun? Why can't it snow in Delhi? Why oh! why can't a woman be like a man ? WHAT ? Alright, I can see all thinking, feeling women gunning me down for this one. In fact, to write this piece out, however hard I tried, I couldn't think like a man!So we launched into the much beaten debate, the only unanswerable question mark in the annals of human nature - why can't a woman be like a man?"Eternally noble and historically fair?" Have you ever seen a woman open a door for a man? We all can see how fair our Italian Sonia-c fare is. Is it just "loverly" to sashay around in those "fair and lovely" adverts, is that as far is as fairness goes?"Can't a woman learn to use her head?" Save for adding curls or straightening her hair? Why doesn't she straighten up the mess that's inside?" When will a woman realise the best things that happen in life, happen between the ears and not only her 'years'? "Why is, thinking, something a woman never does? Straightening and streaking her hair is all she'll ever do! "Why do they do everything their mothers do?" Who is tied to the mother's apron strings more? Isn't it amazing that she successfully unties her man's apron strings, but from the bhajans to the bhindi, she can't untie her own? "Men are so pleasant, so easy to please." Why does a woman ask "how am I looking" and not be satisfied with the answer? Man's needs are basic, give them hot food, a warm bed and a cosy home. Give a woman an Imelda Marcos wardrobe, and Rekha's jewelry collection, she'll still shop for more. Can you hazard a guess as to what is it that a woman really needs? She leads a simple, natural life; her 'won'ts' are so few."Would you be slighted if I didn't speak to you for hours?" Asked a bewildered Boney. It seems 'silence is golden' is a sexist phrase - it exists only for men. Try not speaking to a woman; she is upset, overwhelmed, confused and hopeless. For her words are like breathing ! Aren't words meant to convey facts and information, the bewildered Bhanwar continues to ask ? Why is she indifferent when he calls and inconsolable when he doesn't ? "Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?" Why can't a woman be a buddy at a bar? Back slapping, cracking jokes and not wanting to go home? Why does she nurse a drink as if to make a style statement - 'ooh la la, I'm a liberated woman'? Even when she is drinking, she needs to be making a statement? "Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers?" How come words don't do the job here? Why can't simple 'I love you' or satisfying the 'basic' needs work out here? What's flowers got to do with it, huh? "Men are so friendly, good natured and kind." Do you ever find a man eyeing another for the latest designer shirt he's wearing? A woman will have jealous thoughts running, "bhala uske diamonds mere se bade kaise ?" (How are her diamonds bigger than mine?) "If I forget your birthday, would you fuss? Man, you are dead; count it as the last day of your life. And then they glare at you if you tell anyone what their real age is! Why can't she forgive and forget and move on with life?"Would I start weeping like a bath tub overflowing?" How does she know she's upset but doesn't know why? Why does she first get upset and then find a reason for it? "Men are so decent, regular chaps." Catch those fluttering false eyelashes and a scarlet smile, "oh you always look lovely in this sari, every time you wear it". That woman is not being bitchy, she's being herself. It's just second nature to them. Viva la kitty party culture! The war between the worlds will persist. But wait, come to think of it, would men actually want a woman to be like them? Wouldn't it be a bland end to the spice in life? Most men believe that God created a woman to make sure a man never competes with Him, so that a man remains man enough to be a man!
and such chauvanistic pigs shall burn in hell.... -natk
Why can't Venus be like Mars? Why can't the Moon, shine like the Sun? Why can't it snow in Delhi? Why oh! why can't a woman be like a man ? WHAT ? Alright, I can see all thinking, feeling women gunning me down for this one. In fact, to write this piece out, however hard I tried, I couldn't think like a man!So we launched into the much beaten debate, the only unanswerable question mark in the annals of human nature - why can't a woman be like a man?"Eternally noble and historically fair?" Have you ever seen a woman open a door for a man? We all can see how fair our Italian Sonia-c fare is. Is it just "loverly" to sashay around in those "fair and lovely" adverts, is that as far is as fairness goes?"Can't a woman learn to use her head?" Save for adding curls or straightening her hair? Why doesn't she straighten up the mess that's inside?" When will a woman realise the best things that happen in life, happen between the ears and not only her 'years'? "Why is, thinking, something a woman never does? Straightening and streaking her hair is all she'll ever do! "Why do they do everything their mothers do?" Who is tied to the mother's apron strings more? Isn't it amazing that she successfully unties her man's apron strings, but from the bhajans to the bhindi, she can't untie her own? "Men are so pleasant, so easy to please." Why does a woman ask "how am I looking" and not be satisfied with the answer? Man's needs are basic, give them hot food, a warm bed and a cosy home. Give a woman an Imelda Marcos wardrobe, and Rekha's jewelry collection, she'll still shop for more. Can you hazard a guess as to what is it that a woman really needs? She leads a simple, natural life; her 'won'ts' are so few."Would you be slighted if I didn't speak to you for hours?" Asked a bewildered Boney. It seems 'silence is golden' is a sexist phrase - it exists only for men. Try not speaking to a woman; she is upset, overwhelmed, confused and hopeless. For her words are like breathing ! Aren't words meant to convey facts and information, the bewildered Bhanwar continues to ask ? Why is she indifferent when he calls and inconsolable when he doesn't ? "Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?" Why can't a woman be a buddy at a bar? Back slapping, cracking jokes and not wanting to go home? Why does she nurse a drink as if to make a style statement - 'ooh la la, I'm a liberated woman'? Even when she is drinking, she needs to be making a statement? "Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers?" How come words don't do the job here? Why can't simple 'I love you' or satisfying the 'basic' needs work out here? What's flowers got to do with it, huh? "Men are so friendly, good natured and kind." Do you ever find a man eyeing another for the latest designer shirt he's wearing? A woman will have jealous thoughts running, "bhala uske diamonds mere se bade kaise ?" (How are her diamonds bigger than mine?) "If I forget your birthday, would you fuss? Man, you are dead; count it as the last day of your life. And then they glare at you if you tell anyone what their real age is! Why can't she forgive and forget and move on with life?"Would I start weeping like a bath tub overflowing?" How does she know she's upset but doesn't know why? Why does she first get upset and then find a reason for it? "Men are so decent, regular chaps." Catch those fluttering false eyelashes and a scarlet smile, "oh you always look lovely in this sari, every time you wear it". That woman is not being bitchy, she's being herself. It's just second nature to them. Viva la kitty party culture! The war between the worlds will persist. But wait, come to think of it, would men actually want a woman to be like them? Wouldn't it be a bland end to the spice in life? Most men believe that God created a woman to make sure a man never competes with Him, so that a man remains man enough to be a man!
and such chauvanistic pigs shall burn in hell.... -natk
# posted by - : 12:10 PM
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